I AM HE

John 18:1-27

Key Verse 18:5a "Jesus of Nazareth," they replied. "I am he," Jesus said.”

Identity is important in life. Depending upon who we are we behave differently and the meaning of what we do becomes different. For example, if you are the president of the United States of America you will certainly act differently that if you clean the streets of Downey. 

One young man told me a very impressive story that also shows the importance of identity. He is about 20 years old. He had a hard time to overcome his desire to watch pornography. He did everything he could do by praying and reading the bible and attending many conferences. Nothing worked out. Then through God’s divine revelation he realized who he is. “A saint through the blood of Jesus.” When he realized that he is not a sinner (who is bound to sin) anymore but “a saint” (who is bound to be holy) through the blood of Jesus he was able to overcome his lustful desire.

Now in today’s passage two people’s identity are revealed. They are Jesus and Simon Peter. “Who Jesus is” is important because he is the object of our faith. Jesus’ identity is important because our salvation depends on who he is. So we want to learn who Jesus is through today’s passage. My message has two parts. The first part is “I am he” (18:1-14). It deals with Jesus’ identity. The second part is “I am not” (18:15-27). It deals with Simon Peter’s identity.

“I am he” (18:1-14)

John 18:1-3 “¹ When he had finished praying, Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was an olive grove, and he and his disciples went into it. ² Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. ³ So Judas came to the grove, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons.” 

This is the scene of Jesus’ arrest. After Jesus had finished his prayer on the last supper table he left with this disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side of Kidron Valley there was an olive grove and Jesus and his disciples went into it. This olive grove is believed to be the Mount of Gethsemane although Jesus’ prayer on Gethsemane is not recorded in John’s gospel. The number of the detachment of soldiers could be up to even 600 and there were Jewish officials too. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons. So many people were armed in order to arrest Jesus and both Jews and Gentiles joined. It looked like they came to arrest the leader of a riot. Now how did Jesus respond in the situation?

Let’s read verses 4-9 responsively.

John 18:4-9 “⁴ Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, "Who is it you want?" ⁵ "Jesus of Nazareth," they replied. "I am he," Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) ⁶ When Jesus said, "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground. ⁷ Again he asked them, "Who is it you want?" And they said, "Jesus of Nazareth." ⁸ "I told you that I am he," Jesus answered. "If you are looking for me, then let these men go." ⁹ This happened so that the words he had spoken would be fulfilled: "I have not lost one of those you gave me." 

These verses show who Jesus is. It shows Jesus is God. The original Greek text for the phrase, “I am he,” (ego eimi) shows only “I am”. The phrase “I am” is used 24 times in John’s gospel. Sometimes it is used as an essential part of a sentence like, “I am the bread of life.” And 7 times it is used as a complete sentence. Out of the 7 times, 3 times are shown in today’s passage. Below are the other four times of “I am” in John’s gospel.

John 8:24 “I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am [the one I claim to be], you will indeed die in your sins."”

 John 8:28 “So Jesus said, "When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am [the one I claim to be] and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.” 

John 8:58 "I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born, I am!"

John 13:19 "I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am He.”

So when Jesus said, “I am he” he was revealing himself as God. To know who Jesus is ultimately important because it determines our salvation. The validity of our faith and salvation depends on who Jesus is. Our whole life of faith is determined according to Jesus’ identity. Not only our salvation and faith but the meaning of what Jesus does changes according to his identity. We will appreciate what he does for us all the more if we know that he is the Creator God who made us. 

There is one person who learned Jesus’ identity very dramatically. His name is Thomas. 

John 20:26-28 “²⁶ A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" ²⁷ Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." ²⁸ Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!" 

Thomas was a disciple of Jesus. He believed in Jesus and followed him. But in John 20:26-28 he finally believed in Jesus who is his Lord and his God. He truly learned that Jesus is his Lord and his God! Thomas became a true believer of Jesus at that moment.

In the same way we may live as disciples of Jesus. But we may not truly know who Jesus is. Jesus is the only true God. Jesus is God the Son. Jesus is the only Savior. There is no other Savior than Jesus.

Now verse 6 reads, “⁶ When Jesus said, "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground.” Why did the soldiers and officials draw back and fall to the ground? Probably they were overwhelmed by Jesus’ divine authority as God. They were probably overwhelmed by some unknown divine influence from Jesus who is God. 

Jesus told people who came to arrest him, “If you are looking for me, then let these men go” in order to protect his disciples. Then they were ready to arrest Jesus. But something happened. 

¹⁰ Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) ¹¹ Jesus commanded Peter, "Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"” 

Out of fear and desire to protect Jesus Simon Peter drew a sword and cut off the right ear of the high priest’s servant. Peter knew he was not match at all against so many soldiers and Jewish officials. But somehow he could not stand still when Jesus was going to be arrested. So he ended up cutting off the right ear of the high priest’s servant. But Jesus commanded Peter, “"Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"

Jesus did not come into the world to use violence. Jesus came to remove violence among men. So he commanded Peter, “Put your sword away!” Then Jesus said, “Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?” What does the cup mean?

Jesus’ cup was the cup of the new covenant in his blood. Luke 22:20 

“In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.”  

Jesus’ cup means suffering and death to take away men’s sin. 

“Matthew 26:37-39 “³⁷ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. ³⁸ Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." ³⁹ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."” 

Jesus prayed again in Matthew 26:42 “He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." 

So we can say ‘the cup from the Father’ is the cup of suffering and death to take away all of men’s sin. It is the new covenant in Jesus’ blood. It was the cup of God’s wrath upon the sin of all men. “To drink” means ‘actually taking’.

Jesus was ready to drink the cup from the Father as God the Son and the only Savior. He was ready to go through suffering and death to take away the sin of all peoples on earth.

We do not want to go through suffering even for our own obligation as much as possible. Who wants to suffer for others’ weaknesses and sins? But Jesus did even though he is the Creator God. 

However, there are people who follow Jesus.

About a week ago I read very impressive story about one missionary to Korea. Her name is “Elisabeth J. Shepping” (1880~1934). Her Korean name is서서평. She came to Korea in 1912 when she was 32 years old. At that time Korea just lost her nation to Japan and they were in deep sorrow and poverty. To her eyes, Korea was full of troubles and sufferings.

Her letter sent to her headquarters 1921 shows the situation of Korean women. “I met more than 500 Korean women. But those who have names were even less than 10. They had to work so hard like slaves for their whole life. They had to obey their husbands. They were condemned when they could not produce children. Sometimes they were sold for their husband who are poor. My joy is to give them names and teach them Korean language.”

She was easily sick but she kept visiting southern part of Korea and Jeju island. Once she started visiting she usually spent one month traveling more than 200 miles. When her horse cannot move she just walked by herself all the way. She served many Korean widows and lepers.

In 1929 she met her own mother in America who abandoned one year old Elisabeth J. Shepping to her grandmother. But her own mother rejected her saying that she did not want to see her daughter because her daughter became like a root out of dry ground. Although she did not receive her own mother’s love she became a mother for Korean women.

In 1933 she started a march from southern part of Korea to Seoul in order to draw people’s attention for lepers. She started with 50 people but the number became 530 when she arrived in Seoul. So the government was forced to make some facility and that is how the island of ‘lepers’ called “So Rok Do” was created. When she died at the age of 54, many lepers called her “mommy” in her funeral.  

She died in 1934 out of hunger, hard labor, and disease. All she left was a half blanket, a few coins, and two cups of corn power. She had already given half of her blanket to beggars under a bridge. Her body was offered to medical school for study according to her will. In such a poor country in Korea she lived not as a friend of Koreans but as a Korean for 22 years eating Korea food and wearing Korean sandals. 

When I read her story I was so moved. How can a person offer her life so much in sacrifice for strangers in a foreign land where all languages and culture are so foreign to her? What made her suffer so much and even give her whole life for Korean women and lepers who were total strangers? It is none other than Jesus. It is none other than the Creator God who said, “Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?” Jesus was living inside of her. Indeed she was a disciple of Jesus.

When Jesus commanded Peter, “"Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?" they were ready to arrest Jesus.

¹² Then the detachment of soldiers with its commander and the Jewish officials arrested Jesus. They bound him ¹³ and brought him first to Annas, who was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, the high priest that year. ¹⁴ Caiaphas was the one who had advised the Jews that it would be good if one man died for the people.

So far we learned who Jesus is and what he was ready to do. 

“I am not” (18:15-27)

This part will teach us who Simon Peter and what he did.

John 18:15-18

¹⁵ Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus. Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest's courtyard, ¹⁶ but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the girl on duty there and brought Peter in. ¹⁷ "You are not one of his disciples, are you?" the girl at the door asked Peter. He replied, "I am not." ¹⁸ It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also was standing with them, warming himself.

Here ‘another disciple’ or ‘this disciple’ or ‘the other disciple’ all refers to the same person. He is John the apostle who is the author of John’s gospel. Simon Peter followed Jesus but he was stopped just outside of the high priest’s courtyard. He barely entered into the high priest’s courtyard by lying and through the help of the other disciple. Because Simon Peter identified himself not as a disciple of Jesus he behaved differently. He identified himself as one of those servants and officials who participated in the arrest of Jesus.

Meanwhile the high priest, Annas, questioned Jesus. Annas was a father in law of Caiaphas, but the bible calls him the high priest probably because he still exercised strong influence like the high priest. 

. ¹⁹ Meanwhile, the high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and his teaching. ²⁰ "I have spoken openly to the world," Jesus replied. "I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. ²¹ Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said." ²² When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby struck him in the face. "Is this the way you answer the high priest?" he demanded. ²³ "If I said something wrong," Jesus replied, "testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?" ²⁴ Then Annas sent him, still bound, to Caiaphas the high priest.

Usually a judge find charging topics from a plaintiff or witnesses. But Annas wanted to find them from Jesus who was a defendant. But Jesus was so confident. He told him very clearly, “²⁰ "I have spoken openly to the world," I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. ²¹ Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said."

Jesus did not hide anything. He only spoke the truth. Annas could not find anything against Jesus. So Annas sent Jesus to Caiaphas the high priest. The trial of Jesus by Annas shows that Jesus was still in the control of the situation.

Now what happened to Simon Peter when he was standing around a fire with servants and officials?

²⁵ As Simon Peter stood warming himself, he was asked, "You are not one of his disciples, are you?" He denied it, saying, "I am not." ²⁶ One of the high priest's servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, "Didn't I see you with him in the olive grove?" ²⁷ Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow. 

So Simon Peter’s identity was not a disciple of Jesus and therefore what he did was not the act of a disciple. He stood together with servants and Jewish officials.

How why couldn’t Peter keep his identity? Why did he say, “I am not,” three times despite his great desire to follow Jesus? It is because Peter did not believe what Jesus said.

John 13:37-38 reads, “³⁷ Peter asked, "Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." ³⁸ Then Jesus answered, "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!” 

Jesus also said to Peter Mark 8:31-35 “³¹ He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. ³² He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ³³ But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. "Get behind me, Satan!" he said. "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." ³⁴ Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” 

Did Peter believe what Jesus said? His action shows he did not believe it.

To believe what others say is very challenging to a man. My experience is one example which shows how difficult it is to believe what others say even for a small thing. About a month ago I wanted to have something that I can eat when I am hungry. I was thinking about this and that. The food must be something easy to carry and most of all it should stay long fresh before it is corrupted. Then finally I got the idea. Sweet potato was the answer! It is sweet and it is easy to carry and it is good for health! And you don’t need to cook. You can eat raw. I grew up eating sweet potato in raw. What can I ask more?

Yet, when I mentioned about “sweet potatoes” to Maria, she told me that they are easily rotten. Her words came from at least 30 years of experience and I did not have any reason not to believe. She is my wife and she does not have any reason to tell me a lie. In fact all I have is reasons to believe. So I believed it. But my action shows something different. I still bought sweet potato and kept it in a place. For a few days it seems they are okay. Then one day I found that they are all rotten and I had to throw them away. When I bought sweet potatoes this is what I thought, “Well, I believe what she says. But I think it will be okay with me.” I thought that since I am such a special person sweet potatos will behave differently toward me. But they obeyed God’s natural law and did not treat me specially. They all were rotten at their due time. When this happened I realized how hard it is for me to believe what others say even for a small thing. At that moment I realized why sometimes our children want to go through same mistakes which we went through despite our warnings. They are like me. 

Indeed Simon Peter did not believe Jesus’ word which taught him that Jesus will rise in three days and whoever loses his life for Jesus and for the gospel will save it. 

In conclusion, our identity is important because we behave differently according to our identity, and the meaning of what we do becomes different depending upon our identity.  Jesus revealed himself as “the only true God” and “the only Savior” when he said, “I am he”. Jesus was ready to drink the cup of suffering and death as the Creator God and Savior. Those who follow Jesus behave in the same way. If we believe what Jesus says in the bible we can follow Jesus.

One word: Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?

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