David Grew Stronger And Stronger

2 Samuel 3:1-21

Key Verse: 2 Samuel 3:1

The war between the house of Saul and the house of David 

lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger, 

while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker.

In this passage, we will see how God’s will for Israel and David was fulfilled one by one. 

(1) God’s will be done in His time and in His way (v1)

(2) How strong is the willful disobedience to God’s will! : (v1, 9,10)

(3) God used wickedness of Abner to fulfill His will. 

May God bless us to see His will in our lives and in our churches so that we might fully surrender to His good and perfect will. We want to obey it wholeheartedly! May God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 

1. Read verses 1-5. How long does the war between the house of Saul and the house of David last? (1a) What happens to David and to the house of the Saul? (1b) How many sons were born to David when he was in Hebron? (2-5)

 

 1-1) Read verses 1-5. 

1 The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker. 2 Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon the son of Ahinoam of Jezreel; 3 his second, Kileab the son of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; the third, Absalom the son of Maakah daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; 4 the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream the son of David’s wife Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron.

1-2) How long does the war between the house of Saul and the house of David last? (1a)

a) The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time: 

Duration: 7 and half years. 

Small fight became the prolonged nationwide war.  (2Sam 2:8-32)

20 men died in the house of David (2Sam 2:30)

360 men died in the house of Saul (2Sam 2:31)

b) God’s will regarding David was widely known. (1Sam 23:17, 24:20, 25:28-30)

People at that time were fully aware of God’s will.

But Saul’s house and 11 tribes did not obey God’s will. 

Only Judah tribe including David’s house obeyed God. 

They did not demand obedience to other people. 

c) Why Saul’s house did not surrender to God’s will? [Assumptions]

Saul: [due to pride] refused to obey God all his life.

Saul’s family [due to greed] did not want to lose their privilege to David’s family. 

Saul’s subjects: [due to fear of men] were afraid to obey people in power like David. 

People of Israel [due to lack of faith] did not fully trust God [His words: His will]

People of Israel [due to lack of passion for the truth] did not care about God’s will, God’s

                  way, and God’s plan. 

1-3) What happens to David and to the house of the Saul? (1b) 

a) David grew stronger and stronger: 

i) God’s will be done even though it might seem to be slow. (Matt 6:10)

ii) Those who disobey God will perish even though God’s judgment might seem to be

 slow. 

iii) David grew stronger all due to the work of the Spirit of God. 

God chose David and anointed him with the Spirit. (1Sam 16:13)

God withdrew His Spirit from Saul due to his disobedience. (1Sam 16:14)

b) Spiritual application: 

i) Spiritual application should be done cautiously. (2Tim 2:15)

Original recipient (OT readers) will understand the scripture literally first.  

ii) Spiritual battle against Jesus and the Holy Spirit. 

David vs. Saul = King Jesus vs. ourselves (self-centered human king)

David vs. Saul = The Spirit vs. The Flesh

iii) Spiritual battle would be a long bitter war: it lasts for life time.

We must surrender and submit to the King Jesus. 

We must crucify the flesh and walk with the Spirit. (Gal 5:24,25)

How can we walk with the Spirit? - We must live with the Spirit and show this to

Others including our children.  

1-4) How many sons were born to David when he was in Hebron? (2-5)

a) David had six wives and six sons when he was in Hebron. 

i) Polygamy was against God’s commandment. (Deut 17:17) 

Scripture simple tell us the facts without judging his behaviors. 

But it was clear that David did not obey God’s commands. 

ii) Did the man after God’s own heart not follow God’s commands?

Then, in what ways, was Davis the man after God’s own heart?

David followed God’s heart. So it has to do with God’s heart.

b) Why did David disobey God’s specific commands?

i) Ignorance: He did not know the Law of God at that time.

At that time, not many people were faithful to the word of God. (1Sam 3:1) 

ii) Culture-bounded: it was a common practice as a king at that time. 

David knew God’s commands, but he chose to disobey them. 

Because his conscience was not bounded to the Scripture.

His conscience was strongly bounded to the culture of his time.

A lot of things we are doing at home/work/the church may be against the 

Scripture. 

How much we are bounded to the culture not to the Scripture! 

iii) Pride:

As a king, David wanted to show off his power by having many wives. 

As a king, he wanted to increase his power by having many children. 

How prideful we are; how arrogant we are before God and men!

c) Why did not the Scripture condemn David’s polygamy here? 

i) The purpose of Samuel was not to condemn David but to exalt God, majesty of God.

The purpose of Samuel was to reveal who God is. 

Through revealing David’s sins, author clearly reveals the grace of God.

God is slow to anger and he is abound in love, but he is just. (Exo 34:6,7)  

The book of Samuel later described the trials of David because of his sins. 

ii) One of the purposes of Samuel was to show David as the shadow of Christ. 

Through revealing David’s sins, author clearly reveals God’s grace for all men.

David was chosen not because of his greatness but because of God’s grace. 

It is clear that David is not the reality, but the shadow of the true King, Jesus. 

But how easily we can notice greatness of human instead of majesty of God. 

d) Summary Table for David’s Sons in Hebron.

	Son	Mother	Brief  story about them
1	Amnon	Ahinoam	He raped his sister, Tamar, and was murdered by Absalom [13:1-39]
2	Kileab	Abigail	He was known as Daniel [1 Chr 3:1]: not worthy to mention
3	Absalom	Maakah	He murdered Amnon; led civil war against his father David
4	Adonijah	Haggith	He tried to seize the throne from David (1Kings 1:5)
5	Shephatiah	Abital	He was mentioned briefly in 1Chr 3:3: not worthy to mention
6	Ithream	Eglah	He was mentioned briefly in1Chr 3:3: not worthy to mention

 

2. Read verses 6-11. What has Abner been doing in the house of Saul? (6) What does Ish-Bosheth say to Abner? (7) How does Abner respond to Ish-Bosheth? (8) What does Abner decide to do regarding the kingdom of Israel? (9-10) How does Ish-Bosheth react to Abner’s outburst? (11)

2-1) Read verses 6-11

“6 During the war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner had been strengthening his own position in the house of Saul. 7 Now Saul had had a concubine named Rizpah daughter of Aiah. And Ish-Bosheth said to Abner, “Why did you sleep with my father’s concubine?” 8 Abner was very angry because of what Ish-Bosheth said. So he answered, “Am I a dog’s head—on Judah’s side? This very day I am loyal to the house of your father Saul and to his family and friends. I haven’t handed you over to David. Yet now you accuse me of an offense involving this woman! 9 May God deal with Abner, be it ever so severely, if I do not do for David what the Lord promised him on oath 10 and transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and establish David’s throne over Israel and Judah from Dan to Beersheba.” 11 Ish-Bosheth did not dare to say another word to Abner, because he was afraid of him.”

2-2) What has Abner been doing in the house of Saul? (6) 

a) Abner was strengthening his position in the house of Saul

b) He put Ish-Bosheth on the throne after the death of Saul. (2Sam 2:8,9)

He was the military leader of the Israel. 

He was the real power behind the throne. 

2-3) What does Ish-Bosheth say to Abner? (7) 

a) “Why have you gone in to my father’s concubine?”

Ish-Bosheth accused Abner of a serious crime. 

b) Taking the king’s concubine was a statement of power and claim to the throne. (16:21-22) 

Possibly, Abner was making his own move to take the throne. 

2-4) How does Abner respond to Ish-Bosheth? (8) 

a) Abner was very angry. (v8)

This could be political false accusation. 

Maybe Abner was innocent and it was false accusation of Ish-Bosheth. 

Possibly, Ish-Bosheth felt it was necessary to decrease Ish-Bosheth political power. 

b) Whether Abner committed sins against Saul’s concubine was not the point in this context. 

Probably Abner did it: he defended himself with his loyalty and power instead of his 

innocence.  

c) Abner said, “Am I a dog’s head on Judah’s side?”

“Am I a contemptible traitor allied with Judah?”

It is a common expression to show contempt or disgust. (1Sam 17:43)

2-5) What does Abner decide to do regarding the kingdom of Israel? (9-10) 

a) “If I do not do for David what the LORD promised him on oath”. (v9) 

Abner knew God’s will, but rebelled against God until now. 

But because of Ish-Bosheth’s accusation, he decided to obey the LORD.

b) Some people see Abner as positive example to obey God. (v9,17-19)

If we take what he said out of context, he sounded like a great man of God. 

But based on context, he was not obeying God for His name sake. 

He was trying to obey God with selfish motive. 

Abner was not a man of God, but selfish opportunist, just like everybody else.

 

c) Abner’s decision to obey God’s will.

Abner knew God’s will before but chose to disobey it. 

How common it is for us to fight against God’s will even when we know God’s

written will. 

Abner wanted to obey God because he was angry.

It is wonderful to obey God and God’s written will. 

But it is more important to obey Him out of right motive. 

Obedience to God should not come out of fear but out of reverence, love, and

worship for His glory. 

d) Dan to Beersheba.

This expression means ‘the whole country’. (Judge 20:1)

Dan in the north; Beersheba in the south.

2-6) How does Ish-Bosheth react to Abner’s outburst? (11)

a) He did not dare to say another word to Abner.

b) Ish-Bosheth was afraid of Abner.

He was a king but did not have any actual power to rule.

3. Read verses 12-19a. What does Abner send his messengers to tell David? (12) What does David demand from Abner as a condition to their agreement? (13,14) What does Ish-Bosheth do regarding David’s demand? (15,16) How does Abner confer with the elders of Israel and the Benjamites? (17-19a)

 

3-1) Read verses 12-19.

“12 Then Abner sent messengers on his behalf to say to David, “Whose land is it? Make an agreement with me, and I will help you bring all Israel over to you.” 13 “Good,” said David. “I will make an agreement with you. But I demand one thing of you: Do not come into my presence unless you bring Michal daughter of Saul when you come to see me.” 14 Then David sent messengers to Ish-Bosheth son of Saul, demanding, “Give me my wife Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for the price of a hundred Philistine foreskins.” 15 So Ish-Bosheth gave orders and had her taken away from her husband Paltiel son of Laish. 16 Her husband, however, went with her, weeping behind her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go back home!” So he went back. 17 Abner conferred with the elders of Israel and said, “For some time you have wanted to make David your king. 18 Now do it! For the Lord promised David, ‘By my servant David I will rescue my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and from the hand of all their enemies.’” 19 Abner also spoke to the Benjamites in person. Then he went to Hebron to tell David everything that Israel and the whole tribe of Benjamin wanted to do.” 

3-2) What does Abner send his messengers to tell David? (12) 

“12 Then Abner sent messengers on his behalf to say to David, “Whose land is it? Make an agreement with me, and I will help you bring all Israel over to you.””

a) “Whose land is it?” Two possible meanings can be there. 

i) ‘This land belongs to Abner’: He controls it. Therefore, he can give it to David. 

ii) ‘This land belongs to David’: Abner can help David to secure it. 

Based on context, first view is more close to the real meaning. 

b) “I will help you bring all Israel over to you.”

i) Abner’s motive: he wants to be the winning side.

Possibly, after war with Joab, he figured that he had no chance to win the battle. 

ii) He was not obeying God for His glory, but was seeking his own benefit. 

He was not a man of God but an opportunist. 

3-3) What does David demand from Abner as a condition to their agreement? (13,14) 

a) “Give me my wife Michal”:

About 20yrs ago (?) David received Michal in marriage. (1Sam 17:26-28)

But Saul took her away. (1Sam 25:44)

b) “Whom I betrothed to myself with a hundred foreskins of the Philistines”: (1Sam 18:20-30)

David used this unusual payment to marry the daughter of King Saul.

c) Why did David do this? Did he really need another wife? Did he really love Michal? Probably

not.

i) For love: 

Michal loved David. (1Sam 18:20) David also wanted to marry her. 

But David’ love for Michal was questioned later. (2Sam 6:20-23)

ii) For politics: 

David wanted to use Michal to strengthen his claim to the throne. 

Saul’s son-in-law is a lot better position to claim Saul’s throne. 

Based on context, political movement was more close to the real meaning. 

d) David sent messengers to Ish-Bosheth. (v14)

David wanted the house of Saul to know that he was legally Saul’s son-in-law. 

David wanted this demand to be official instead of personal demand. 

David was not a politically-naïve romantic guy. 

David was an extremely politically-shrewd guy. 

3-4) What does Ish-Bosheth do regarding David’s demand? (15,16) 

“15 So Ish-Bosheth gave orders and had her taken away from her husband Paltiel son of Laish. 16 Her husband, however, went with her, weeping behind her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go back home!” So he went back.”

a) Ish-Bosheth gave orders to take Michal away from her husband Paltiel. 

David’s claim caused ethical problems to Michal and Michal’s husband. 

Leaders should not cause divorce between husband and wife. 

b) Michal’s husband, Paltiel son of Laish, was weeping. 

Saul did wicked things to David and his daughter Michal. 

David also did wicked things to Michal and her husband Paltiel. 

David abused his power to accomplish his own political power. 

c) Abner said to him, "Go, return!" And he returned: 

Abner must have been a man of absolute power in Israel.

3-5) How does Abner confer with the elders of Israel and the Benjamites? (17-19a)

“17 Abner conferred with the elders of Israel and said, “For some time you have wanted to make David your king. 18 Now do it! For the Lord promised David, ‘By my servant David I will rescue my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and from the hand of all their enemies.’” 19 Abner also spoke to the Benjamites in person. Then he went to Hebron to tell David everything that Israel and the whole tribe of Benjamin wanted to do.”

a) Abner had communicated with the elders of Israel: Persuasive talk.

i) He knew their desires: 

He mentioned that elders also had same desire before. 

Previously, the house of Benjamite persuaded the elders to follow the house of

Saul. 

Now, he tried to persuade them to follow the house of David. 

ii) He quoted God’s promise so that they must obey God. 

He quoted God’s promise to fulfill his own purpose. 

We should quote God’s promise according to His will, not ours. 

Satan quotes God’s words to deceive people; how dangerous it is to use

God’s words for our own benefit. 

God even used this wicked man to fulfill His will. [Sovereignty of God]

One of themes of the book of Samuel is the Sovereignty of God. 

iii) He urged/commanded them to obey God, right now, not later. 

He had power to push them to do certain things. 

Now, he used his political power to fulfill his own agenda. 

Good communication skills is important; but we must be careful about this. 

Our messages should be in Spirit of God’s power. (1Cor 2:4)

Our messages should not be in persuasive words.

 

b) Abner spoke to the Benjamites in person. 

The Saul’s house had power and they had to agree with Abner. 

He talked to them personally in order to persuade them. 

c) Some people see Abner as positive example to obey God. (v9,17-19)

If we take what he said out of context, he sounded like a great man of God. 

But based on context, he was just a selfish opportunist just like everybody else.

Abner was not obeying God for His name sake. 

d) Big IF: “If Abner has right motive” 

‘Now do it’ is powerful statement to encourage people to obey God. 

4. Read verses 19b-21. What then does Abner do? (19b-20a) What does David do for Abner and his men? (20b)  What does Abner say to David? (21a) How does David respond to Abner’s suggestion? (21b)

4-1) Read verses 19b-21.

19 Abner also spoke to the Benjamites in person. Then he went to Hebron to tell David everything that Israel and the whole tribe of Benjamin wanted to do. 20 When Abner, who had twenty men with him, came to David at Hebron, David prepared a feast for him and his men. 21 Then Abner said to David, “Let me go at once and assemble all Israel for my lord the king, so that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may rule over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace.

4-2) What then does Abner do? (19b-20a) 

a) He came to David at Hebron with twenty men. 

b) He told David everything that Israel and the whole tribes wanted to do. 

4-3)  What does David do for Abner and his men? (20b)  

a) David made a feast for Abner. 

David was kind and generous towards a former adversary. 

b) David wanted to have United Kingdom according to God’s will. 

He was willing to forgive his adversary. 

He was politically shrewd. But he was also kind, generous, and humble. 

4-4) What does Abner say to David? (21a) 

“21 Then Abner said to David, “Let me go at once and assemble all Israel for my lord the king, so that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may rule over all that your heart desires.””

a) “Let me go and assemble all Israel for my lord and the king. 

So that they may make a covenant with you

You may rule over all that your heart desires.”

b) Abner wanted David’s reign to be fully realized over the people of God.

He was a man of action; doing everything very precisely and quickly. 

He has a good quality as a leader. 

 

4-5) How does David respond to Abner’s suggestion? (21b)

a) David sent Abner away and he went in peace. 

b) The author wanted to emphasize that David was with peace with Abner. 

He had in mind those who questioned about David’s relationship with Saul’s family. 

He mentioned ‘peace’ couple times so that readers understood about this clearly. (v22,23) 

* Things to think about more.

1) People willfully disobey God’s will. 

Why? What should we do about this? 

2) God’s will for David was done about 20 years later. 

How can we be sure that God’s will be done in His time?

3) God used Abner to fulfill His will. 

Sovereignty of God vs. human plan and will

4) God blessed David despite his many sins. 

What can we learn from it? 

In Conclusion, 

Despite men’s willful disobedience, God’s will was done even using selfish desires of wicked men.  Despite David’s sins, God blessed David for His own glory. We must be willing to submit to the [written] will of God with all our hearts and souls and strengths. May God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 

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